I have thought about taking a vacation from my pump. Just giving myself a break from carrying around this thing because at times it gets annoying - smacking it off the ground, getting it caught on door knobs, stuffing it into your bra, having it vibrate at you, having site rips out, have something malfunction.... that extra part of my life called diabetes seems a little more prominent when I have a pancreas dangling from my pocket.
I don't think I would stay away from the pump for awhile - just for a month to give myself some freedom in the sense of just having to give myself a needle when I eat and before bed. I realize that the pump also can be seen as more of a vice for freedom than syringes; however, after wearing the pump for 2 years straight, 24/7 - I am just craving to go back on the needles for just a little bit.
When I brought up this idea to Vince he instantly seemed resistant..."You should just wear the backpack pump for a day!" he said. "Why so I can appreciate the pump?" I replied. He really didn't like the idea of me going back on needles and when I finally asked why it was such a big deal if I went on needles he replied with, "I am afraid of needles!" Well, then! Vince and I started dating about two years into my life with diabetes, so it makes sense why he has never really had to see any needles, since I have been on a pump for two years.
I tried to explain to him that he would hardly see it. The needles look like fancy pens and the needle the screws on the end of the pen is hardly big at all. Often I would do it before anyone would even think to ask if I took my insulin. It's really an easy process that no one notices unless you're up close and personal explaining what you're doing.
It's interesting because needles are no one's favourite, and that happens to be what this disease is all about. In fact I don't even like looking at people giving themselves needles or getting needles. I can't stand it when I have to get blood work done, but of course it's life or death when it comes to me administrating my insulin. I am sure I am not the only one whose partner doesn't like needles, and as far as figuring out what I will end up doing, I know that if I were to be on needles it would be something that he wouldn't even notice all that much - just because I was on needles before for approximately a year and a half.
For me, I am getting a little worn out, a little tired of keeping track of this disease and it's repetitively is driving my bananas. It may be nice to let the purple pump take a break from swinging between my legs, tangling around door knobs and just getting in the way. It may be time to just give myself some freedom in the sense of not wearing my diabetes on my sleeve - or bra to be exact.